Written October 28th, 2014 actually, but forever applicable.
It's called closure. When something that has been bothering you is confronted and resolution has been achieved. But I haven't really found a lot of closure in my life. Instead I find that Life...is really just about a bunch of loose ends. Some you can tie up in a pretty braid and knot at the end. Some you tie onto new strands as a continuation of some intricate and beautiful pattern. Some attack and try to strangle you. Some you leave as individuals blowing in the breeze, suspended as a lifeline for the future. Yet other strands are simply frayed beyond repair and need to be torn off and flicked into oblivion. I guess I have found that it is how you deal with the loose ends that have unraveled from the very fabric of your soul. I could say that right now I'm frayed, fuzzed, and unraveling. Or I can believe that my Life's fabric is stretching; adaptable and resilient; compensating; and becoming much more comfortable to wear, bringing peace in times of distress by simply giving room. Like my favorite sweatpants. Although I may have been a bit damaged along the way, I can still find comfort in knowing that even if I died tonight... I've lived - truly lived - a life that I can be proud of.
Coursing through my veins; ignite
The glittering of the pulsing lights
Childlike wonder once left behind
The Season now echoes inside.
Enthralled I watch so carefully
Anticipate and filled with glee
Dazzled by synchronicity
Enraptured yet absolutely free.
Mesmerized I sit and stare
The Season has joy everywhere
All at once I am aware
Of the magic in Christmas flair.
So I find that everyday
Is a constant struggle between the words I wanna say
And the war against the fates
But I battle anyway
This desire inside of me
To be what everybody else creates and wants to see
But I keep forgetting me
I must erase hypocrisy
When all the colors fade to grey
The lines are blurred and it’s time to turn the page
Heal the anger and the rage
And unlock the angels’ cage
So when all this smoke clears
And the screamin’ fades away
When all that remains is humbled me
At the end of the day
Will it matter anyway?
Does it matter all the same?
People misunderstanding me
Creating thought and changing up my destiny
There’s a hope with legacy
Not a cure, but remedy
There will never be enough
Competition for a faith and pretense that is tough
The antidote to hatred is not love
What are we really dreaming of?
There’s an echoing tonight
The silence of a tragedy and a fading of a light
There are no voices with this fight
And the fear will keep you blind
When all this smoke clears
And the screams have died away
Will the laughter come back and remind us how to play?
Or will our children replicate
Author, Poet, Dreamer