Emotional Autoclaving. I came up with this concept a couple of years ago and had forgotten about it until I came across my Facebook memory the other day. I have been implementing my concept daily again now. Instead of choosing to go numb (something I used to do frequently when it came to emotions), I started searching for motivation within myself. I am collecting the pieces of my life and sitting down with them, evaluating where they will best fit or if they are from a different puzzle altogether and need to be set aside. Amazingly, the completed picture that I desire is not taking me long to lay out. I've started reinforcing myself for the things I have accomplished, instead of judging myself for the ones I’ve yet to. I've started actively participating in my own dreams; instead of just voicing them. Did you know that it is impossible to finish something you never start?!? (I know, mind-blowing revelation, right?) I keep actively trying to modify any of my negative thoughts into productive actions that satisfy and fulfill my lifelong purpose, whatever time remains for me. Oh, I still fail at this sometimes, especially lately when I have felt that the pain has exceeded my resources for coping with it. Then, I start to remind myself that there are only two things I can possibly do: (1) find a way to reduce my pain, and (2) find a way to increase my coping resources. So, I hold on, my numb fingers gripping the ledges as tightly as I can, until I can determine my next move. One day, one step, sometimes one breath at a time...
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Julie WestphalAuthor, Poet, Dreamer Archives
February 2024
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