I wrote this about 2 months before my 18th birthday...a perfect letter to myself that I once again cherish today.
Dear Me, You look tired. I can see it in your eyes. You are slowly fading from the person you were before. You’re wearing yourself down. People notice, and blame you, telling you over and over again to take care. They are no longer happy with you, but then again, they rarely are. They see what you COULD be, instead of who you are. Which can be a very good thing, but right now it’s not what you need, is it? I see a lonely girl who is too caught up in trying to prove she is worth something that she is forgetting who she is. There is no person to blame, so don’t even think to. You are the controller of your own emotions, of your life; neither a stranger nor even your family can control them. People have influences over you, but you are the one who ultimately decides for you. You need to live up to YOUR expectations, not theirs…but right now, you can’t find any, can you? It’s because you have stopped doing. Remember those famous words of the great Jedi master, Yoda? “Do or Do Not. There is no Try.” And there is ALWAYS a choice after a choice, girl. You can choose to do again. It’s not really all that hard. So Stop Worrying about what others will think…ah, you think it’s harder than it appears, don’t you? I never said it was easy, but you can do it. Just look how far you have come. I have absolute faith in you. And that’s all that really matters, isn’t it? If only one person has faith in you - Me - you can do Anything. Yes, your family is important and so are other people…but their opinions are just that…opinions. Everyone is different and no one is going to agree all the time. You need to remember that…and keep experiencing those delayed reactions…you’re smart, to do that. I am So Proud of you. And not just for that… for everything that you have accomplished, want to, and will accomplish. For you are going quite far, kid. But also keep reminding yourself that you are perfect…just as you are. You’re forever learning, forever growing…until you move on from this world and into the next. You can Never stop learning. Your family may or may not be there. You may or may not find your Prince Charming one day. But even if they aren’t, and you never do, you have yourself. “Wherever you go - There you are!” You are priceless, daughter of love. And if you ever have doubt, look at your lyrics. You’re looking at your heart when you do. Look at your poems and your stories. Look at the ideas you have for stories. Your dreams. You’re going to get there. Wait…you’re going to Fly there. On the Wings of Your Dreams. You said it yourself. “If you stop hoping, you stop dreaming. And if you stop dreaming, you stop living.” But if YOU don’t take care of yourself, who else will? You’re almost 18, you’ll be having to get out onto your own soon, starting college, and trying to make enough money to support yourself…but you’ll do it. Look at how many people do it already. And you’ll do what’s right for you. Just stop worrying and start living, girl! Reconnect with your family; keep striking up those conversations with strangers; and just do your very best. We all make mistakes. They’re inevitable. To err…is human. And you are part human yet. You are also more, though others have yet to realize it. But if you know you’re doing your very best, then that’s all you CAN do, no? If you find afterwards, you can make it even better…do so! But you need only to accept your mistakes…for they will occur…and then move on. As Rafiki said, “You can either run from it…OR…LEARN from it!” : swish of the stick : “There! You see? Now…what-are-you-going-to-do?” You are a talented, beautiful, wonderful woman. Don’t EVER doubt it. With so much love, as always, Me
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Julie WestphalAuthor, Poet, Dreamer Archives
February 2024
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