Written two years ago..and applies tonight once more...
The last few weeks have been a gauntlet of fear for me in many aspects. For the most part I know what I am afraid of, but avoidance is no longer an option. In the beginning I felt as if I was being thrown in with the Garthok, without even a clue, but the last two weeks have revealed that I have been unknowingly hammering away at my fears and chiseling them down to more manageable entities. I am watching the cracks reveal the possibilities beyond and I’m finding confidence in places I never thought to look. Fear is only as deep as my mind allows it to be. This is not to say that fear doesn't have its rightful place. For without fear, we may not truly comprehend what it is stake. The problem I have had is that I have allowed certain fears to cripple me. I have given fear permission to control and overwhelm me for far too long, thus limiting my potential; my growth. I haven’t had the faith in myself that others have had and I am truly grateful for all of the encouragement (and patience) I have received. An epiphany has occurred as I realize what I have done this week alone: by letting go of my mistakes, dousing the fire of anxiety surrounding what I perceive to be expectations, and now taming my fear, I have opened the door to a better quality of life. As I walk through into the next fun house, I guess the only question that still remains is: What can be accomplished if I wasn't afraid?
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Julie WestphalAuthor, Poet, Dreamer Archives
February 2024
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